Thursday, July 7, 2011

Still trying

Well, the hubs and I are up to 15 months of trying for baby #2. You really never think it's going to take so long when it's something you both want so much. I've been to the RE now and so far all my tests are looking good. Hubs goes for his SA on Monday and I go for my HSG on Tuesday. Looks like we'll be heading for a diagnosis of unexplained infertility. Awesome.

If all looks good with all our tests this month, we move on to Clomid and IUI. This has me hopeful but it's still been harder on my psyche than I anticipated. I keep wondering why this is happening to us. Why, when we're so ready to be parents again, is it so hard? I feel down a lot and find myself crying a lot more these days seemingly, over nothing.

It doesn't help to hear about friends babies and hearing about yet another friend getting pregnant. We just had a conversation a few months ago and she was sure I'd be pregnant before her as they weren't even trying yet and now... she joins the ranks of women I desperately want to join. It seems so unfair. Why, when it was so easy to get Donovan, are we having issues?

I have told two family members about our struggles and what we're doing to try to get another child. They don't understand and were actually thinking we were nuts for going to an RE and doing all this. I hate hearing "it'll happen when it happens" and it doesn't make it easy when you just want to cry to someone for support and get blown off. It's exactly that reason why I don't like telling close family things that are so personal or important. I'll tell everyone a lot of what's going on with me, anyone who knows me knows that but.... I rarely go into the big things. This is why... I hate feeling like my feelings don't matter to others.

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