Friday, May 27, 2011

I need to get a grip

OK, so, the hubs and I have been trying for over a year now to make baby #2. Every month has been hard for me and I just don't understand why it's taking so long when it didn't the first time around. I do have an appointment with the doctor because I suspect part of the issue is that I am not ovulating every month.

Anyway, two of my friends got pregnant not long after we started trying. They knew I was trying at the same time and we would comment on how fun it would be to have babies around the same time. One friend had her baby girl a few weeks ago, the other is in the hospital now having hers. they have long since stopped asking with any regularity my status on the baby front...

The friend who's in the hospital now, we've gotten close over the past 20 months or so. We met at Gymboree and our kids are around the same age. We hang out and talk often and I consider her one of my closest friends. She wants me to visit her in the hospital this weekend. I am so excited for her and so incredibly happy for her but... I am sitting here in tears because I am SO JEALOUS. I just know that as soon as I see and hold that brand new baby, I am going to cry. I don't want to cry in front of her, she knows this road has been tough on me but I don't think she knows how tough. I don't want to upset her or make her feel bad or ruin a wonderful weekend for her.

I want to be there and support her and I really do want to see the new baby but it's going to be hard. I'll need a lot of strength to get through it.

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